Friday, May 10, 2013

What do you measure your self-worth by?

Like so many women, I daily fight the battle of the scale. There are moments when I can allow the slightest scale weight fluctuation to really mess with my head! Silly, I know...  There was a time when I'd have been too proud to admit to struggling with that. So why am I sharing this now? Well, it's because so many assume that competitors or other fitness professionals have an elitist attitude about their overall fitness levels or that they have overcome the body image issues so many women struggle with. That's understandable when we are only telling others about when the scale is down, when our training goals are reached, or when our diet is perfectly balanced.  But that can give others a false idea of who we really are, what really makes us tick, or where our hearts truly are.

I'm taking a big step today and putting my scale away. I just started taking creatine again and 
added more sodium in my diet (actually hard for me to take enough in because I forget to add more to my foods). After running out of creatine in December, I'd just not repurchased it til recently and then started to forget to take it. Additionally, becoming lax on drinking enough water was no help either. It all messed with my mindset when my weight fluctuated more than expected. I'm still staying on point with macros, but not worrying about the scale for a few weeks, until the next prep starts. Tape measuring weekly instead should be good enough to assess my progress and make any adjustments in my training program.

I certainly don't have it all together when it comes to believing in myself, but I've come a very long way. There was a time when I would not wear shorts in the gym out of fear that others may see the unwanted dimples in my thighs and negatively judge me for it. There was a time when I would eat desserts or burgers in hiding out of fear of what others would think of me if I didn't eat what others expected a trainer or competitor to eat.  Those days are over!  Praise God for that!  It took a while to see myself as good enough. It's a sad thing when women (or men for that matter) find themselves consumed with worry over how others will view them based on their external shell.  It may be considered shallow by others, but often it can be based on truly deep hurts or self-confidence issues that must be overcome.  It's less from being shallow and more from feeling that they truly have self-worth.
Learning to love myself for the woman I was designed to be took a long time. Honestly, it is a God thing and is an ongoing process. It dawned on me that loving my loved ones with my whole being is part of what makes me lovable. These people love me and they need me to love me too! My desire to see others encouraged and motivated in life's difficult journey makes me lovable. My dedication and work ethic, passed down to me from my grandparents and parents, was nurtured through my faith in God, and are part of what makes me, me!  My will to overcome trials and to use those experiences to to live life to its fullest are worthwhile. Once I embraced those realities, I realized that allowing the numbers on a scale or perceived physical imperfections to dictate my peace is just losing the opportunity to feel joy and to live life with true purpose.
So, in a few weeks, I'm going to start contest prep again.  There are Fall shows that I want to work hard for.  In order to stay on-point and have the right dietary and training recommendations, weekly weighing will be important.  When you see my updates which are likely going to seem purely physique focused, keep in mind that my chosen sport requires me to believe in myself, to give no less than 100% effort to my training, and to use the science of diet and exercise to maximize my efforts.  Reaching the physique goals require me to believe in myself and doing that healthfully is of great importance to me!  
My hope is that whoever reads this will spend some time thinking about the beautiful intangibles which make them who they are.  Seek out ways to make a difference in the lives of those you come in contact with, wherever that may be by being the best you! 

No comments: