6 weeks out from the Shawn Ray Classic

It's official. Why is that so difficult? Truly putting it out there is a little scary. Sure, people who know that I've been prepping for a figure competition have cheered me on and encouraged me, but setting an exact time and place makes it seem more "real" and definitive.
The journey this time around is very different than the first time around in so many ways. For example, there were no expectations the first year. I just didn't want to look ridiculous or as if I didn't stand a shot at placing in the top five. Placing did not matter as much as stepping on stage as a worthy competitor. I didn't really expect anything else. This time, the bar I've set for myself is set much higher. Stepping on stage with an improved physique is the primary goal, but I can't deny that I'd like to place again.

Another big difference this time around is that I've dealt with more set-backs. There was the MCL injury from last summer, recurring sciatica which has finally seemed to disappear, a mother-figure/dear friend who died of brain cancer after a long, hard battle, a big career change (from self employed to employee), still plugging away at my college degree,some teenage parenting stresses, some financial set-backs.... It just all seemed to happen at once. Overwhelmed and full of doubt, I quietly struggled with believing in me again while I, once again, found myself believing in everyone else. My metabolism hasn't liked the stresses and lost sleep. On top of that, inconsistency in my workouts and diet in the off season have proven to be a metabolic nightmare for competing.

Thankfully, this journey back to the stage gave me something positive and beneficial to work toward. There have been a few times when I considered quitting. Those moments of self-doubt would creep up, sometimes even keeping me up at night. I'd ask myself why I'm doing this. A horrible voice would tell me that it's too hard and then a strong, wonderful voice would speak up from within my heart saying, "Gretchen, you've got this. Keep moving forward." Like a father telling his child to get up after falling off of a bike and ride again, I'd get back up and keep pushing toward my goals as I'd remember that this journey is worth completing.

Now, I sit here wondering something... Do my weight-loss clients feel this way? Do they embark on this journey to be stronger and healthier only to find themselves scared that it's too hard? Do setbacks keep them up at night doubting their worth? Do they believe they are worth this journey? I believe in my clients! If you're one of them and you're reading this, know that I'm on your team! Let's do this. Dominate the journey!

October 27-stage ready!!

That's my goal competition date! No excuses, no turning back, no mediocre or half-hearted efforts.

My husband is behind me, my kids are cheering me on, and my confidence is higher.

I'm not sure what I'd do without such a supportive family.

What are your goals? Do you have a plan? Who is supporting you? Get rid of your sabotaging habits and get to work. Reach out to like-minded people. Don't look back. The only one holding you back is you.

Progress better than I thought

Okay, proof is in the pudding. Before the willingness to face the truth of progress pictures, I was nervous. My coach, Dr. Layne Norton, requested progress photos and my immediate thought was, "Uh oh, I'm not sure I want to see yet...". Looking at the numbers on the scale, I was sure I'd see progress yet to be made rather than progress already made. Boy was I wrong! Much to my surprise, even with crummy posing, what I saw was a wider back, fuller glutes and quads, stronger shoulders, and a leaner than believed physique.
Numbers on a scale serve only a partial purpose. Without an opportunity to visually assess your physique, you only get part of the truth. Regardless of whether you like the picture-taking, this is a must if you want to know what that number on the scale means for you individually.
The good, the bad, the ugly.... Take those pictures. This week, next week, the following week... Then pat yourself on the back when you see the final "after" picture.
Here I will begin posting my weekly pictures and keep you posted on my personal progress. The journey back to the stage is a big one and I'm inviting you to join my in my ups and downs.

Move forward!!!

The body-fat is finally starting to drop again after over six months of feeling "stuck." Did you think you're the only one who ever feels "stuck" or like you're in an inescapable plateau? You're not alone. Among figure competitors, I believe that it's a dirty little secret that we're often too embarrassed to share. We feel overweight when we are not. We feel defeated every time our lips touch a white carbohydrate. We feel lazy when we're not doing countless weekly hours of cardio. We feel week if we're not hitting weight-lifting PR's at all times. And then it clicks...

Logical thinking takes over, focused ambition replaces defeating negative thought patterns. Some people say that the sport of figure competition is selfish and unhealthy. Well, I don't believe this has to be the case. As a matter of fact, I believe that it can be therapeutic IF we are willing to look at things logically, if we are willing to be held accountable not just physically but also spiritually and in our interpersonal relationships.

I've learned that there are many parallels and life lessons that the sport of bodybuilding--particularly figure competition-offers. As a life coach, I have learned that it is important to not just set goals, but to also be willing to state those goals to others who can hold our feet to the fire in reaching those goals. This is true in everything from achieving financial freedom to developing enduring spiritual disciplines. When I was willing to apply this truth to my pursuit of a figure competitor's physique, I called on the best coach I could think of, Dr. Layne Norton. Boy was it humbling to send those first "progress pictures". Talk about laying it all bare. He was able to better guide me with that in hand. At first, the goal was to walk on the bodybuilding stage with a figure competitor's physique. AND I DID IT!!! I did very well three times in a row. But then what?

Well, within weeks, I'd lost sight of the elite physique. A combination of sporadic binges and depressing, self-defeating thoughts began to take over as I gained at least 20 pounds in what felt like days. That's when I knew that I had to contact my coach again. That expert guidance, consistent accountability, and honest coaching were just what I needed to regain a sense of determined focus. I believe the same sort of thing happens to people in other areas of life. For example, a friend once spent two years digging out of debt. How did she reward herself? She made huge purchases, including a luxury vehicle. Eventually, she was in debt again. I'm sure if she'd had someone to keep her accountable (a life coach, a pastor, a friend...) for just a little longer, she'd have developed the disciplines and knowledge she needed to maintain that financial security and independence.

Other life lessons I took from my experience as a figure competitor are just as important. Early in the game, I realized my need for a figure coach. Tina Peratino of Center Stage Figures was absolutely amazing. She showed me how to present my curvy physique in the best way possible. I didn't realize how little confidence I had until I had to stand in a room alone with this little power house of a woman, alone in nothing more than my swimsuit and competition heals. The shaking, the tendency to not stand erect... Tina helped me through those things with the kind of experienced direction someone who'd never done a competition (and some who have) needed. In life, sometimes, we may need someone who can help us see not just our flaws, but also our strengths. Do you know what your personal strengths are? What makes you tick? Sometimes realizing our purpose involves some soul-searching to see what others see in us. I'll bet there's something about you that makes others want to be with you. What is that? Tina helped me see that about my figure, but there are others (especially my husband) who I often count on to tell me what they see in me as a person. This encourages me to ask myself how those strengths of character or personality are being used to be a blessing to others. I can see where my efforts may be misdirected and where I could be more of a benefit to myself or others in my life. Just as Tina helped me put my best foot forward on the competition stage, other loved ones help me put my best foot forward where it matters in my day-to-day living. Sometimes, this may mean saying "No" a little more often, or taking scary risks professionally.

The final lesson I learned in my experience as a figure competitor, or shall I say I realized more fully, is that there will always be someone who wants to do what you do better than you. Sometimes, these people are worthy of that and often times they aren't. Sure, we see this in the work-place and kids see this in school. But do you recognize it in every-day life? If you do, how do you respond to it? Do you take it personally? Do you embrace it? See, at my first competition, there was one competitor who beat me. Stacey Ellsbury. Boy was she amazingly beautiful! Her stage-presence was phenomenal. From her walk, to her well-sculpted shoulders, she had the whole package. If I was going to place second to anyone, she was the person to place second to. There were other competitors who were not nearly as, dare I say, lovely as Stacey. See, backstage, Stacey quietly kept to herself for the most part, but she was so sweet to all competitors at all times. For example, I'd lost my bracelet (turned out it was inside the sleeve of my sweatshirt) and she'd offered hers to me. This young woman didn't know who I was and had no reason to want to help me; after all, I was her competition. But you know what, she did want to help. It was obviously genuine. There were other competitors who would hardly even make eye contact with me, even if I said "Hello" as I passed. They were catty or cold, stand-offish at best. I could either let this intimidate me or I could stand tall and keep my eyes on my goal. You learn a lot about yourself and others in an environment like this. I learned some good things about myself that day. I learned that even when I am beyond scared and overwhelmed, I can stand tall with a smile on my face. I learned that I'm more gracious than I often give myself credit for. I learned that I can follow through with something that is difficult and overwhelming. I also learned that if I wanted to compete again, I needed to bring in a stronger and slightly more conditioned physique. When I return to the stage, I'll bring fuller shoulders and a teensy weensy leaner overall package. I'll keep my stage presence though.

These were things I needed to realize about me. My loved ones may have seen these qualities in me, but it was necessary to do something for me so that I could come to that self-realization on my own. What are you doing to see your full potential? Are you settling for mediocrity in your life? Are you selling yourself short because you're scared? Is there something that you're holding off for "when you get around to it" because you're concerned that you may fail? Whatever your answers are to these questions, I hope that you will be somehow motivated to put one proverbial foot in front of the other and move toward your full potential.

2012

This is my year...
My year to compete with extra muscularity and more leanness
My year to finish my NASM certification (another personal training certification)
My year to increase my revenue and decrease my time on the road
My year to graduate from Liberty University with my degree (want to finish before Joshua graduates from high school).
My year to find a consistent training partner who is not afraid or uncomfortable spotting me when picking up and putting down big weights.
My year to keep my client newsletter updated and sent regularly.
My year to maintain spiritual growth and accountability with close Christian friends.
I'm worth it!

It's your year too! What will you do this year? What are your personal goals? What would you like to accomplish? Put it down, tell everyone that you can what those goals are and when you plan to reach them, and do it!!! You're Worth It too!!!

When dieting during the holidays, don't be a martyr!

It's the Sunday before Thanksgiving and I'm quite excited. This means that I get the constant reminder all week to give thanks and I find I need it around this time of year. It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the day-to-day necessary tasks that too often I forget to take notice of the many blessings in my life.

We all know that most people are thinking about what they are going to eat or what gifts they're giving for Christmas. So, I do try to make an extra effort to think about the things I'm thankful for. Personally, I've been quite thankful for my renewed belief in myself as an individual. See, I've always believed in my clients and my friends, but I once struggled with believing that I could achieve physically challenging goals. I'm also thankful for the dear friends I've made who are in the fitness industry with me. Many of these people have motivated me during the slow business months, stood by me through physical illness or after injuries, cried with me when loved ones died or became ill, and others have been mentors as I've grown into the business woman I'm becoming. Of course I'm thankful for my beautiful children, my doting husband, Christ my savior, my home, my country... But having once struggled with recognizing my own individual value as a competitor and as a business woman, this new determination and sense of worth is a blessing that I'm thankful for.

Now, back to Thanksgiving... My mother-in-law already has me down for the things that I love to make. Believing that there are no evil foods, I will make some things that I will also choose to not eat. Homemade bread, brownie pizza, and maybe even a cheesecake... Why do I make some of the things that I won't be eating? Do I believe that I'm contributing to the downfall of those around me? Are these questions you're asking yourself? Well, first of all, I do want my children to experience the balance of eating healthy and not worrying every moment of their existence whether or not something they eat will make them fat. There are special occasions when I believe that it is okay to celebrate with a feast as long as they understand that those occasions should be rare and balanced with healthy, clean-eating. Secondly, I have a pretty healthy family. They eat what they want to in moderation and I'm not worried about what one feast will do to their blood pressure, cholesterol, waist size, etc. If I had reason to be concerned about the health and weight of my husband and kids, our household eating would be pretty regimented if necessary; even then, there would be a balance. And here's another important thing important to realize. My fitness goals are my own and it's my job to monitor what I eat for those goals. Strict eating that a figure competitor or a bodybuilder chooses should not be imposed on others. Sometimes it is more difficult than other times, but that's my issue to deal with for the sport I've chosen.

Many people struggle to make the edible choices which will help them achieve their desired fitness level. Very often, a client will tell me, "Gretchen, I could lose the weight if _______ wouldn't bring home the crap." Look, I do understand and personally believe it's somewhat selfish if someone knows your stumbling blocks and still sets them in front of you. That being said, you must be prepared for such sabotagers. Many do this deliberately and many are just plain aloof. Once, I had a client whose fiancee deliberately left bags of chips or cookies on the counter knowing she would stumble. He hated seeing her deprive herself of the treats she enjoyed. One morning, when I arrived at her home to train her, we systematically went through all of her cabinets and her pantry and removed the temptations down to her basement. She'd answered the door in tears, disappointed in herself for putting so much effort into her workouts just to find herself downing 1500 calories in cookies (no kidding) in just a few minutes. We'd discarded the immediate temptations (the bags of crap that was opened) and put all of his junk food stash down in the basement (his man cave). And so he learned that if he wanted that stuff, she would no longer complain or fall prey to it, he simply had to have it away from her safe zone. It took a little while for him to catch on, but he eventually did. Her attitude was the determining factor though; he needed to see that she wasn't a suffering martyr; she was willing to do what she needed to do to succeed whether he was on board or not. Here's what he told me after she'd finally lost 70lbs. "Gretchen, I was so pissed at you for throwing out my food. It was a waste! But I didn't know what I was doing to her until she started to succeed." See, in his mind, if she'd lost a couple of pounds one week, she should be able to reward herself at the dining table. He learned to "reward" her with affirming words of encouragement or even new clothes to fit her shrinking waistline.

See, what I often see happening is two things among dieters. One is that someone is just determined to sabotage their weight-loss or competition goal efforts. Someone's mother, father, wife, husband, or best friend will say something like this, "It's Thanksgiving; can't you just enjoy one meal with us?" To which I recommend responding, "Sure, I could. But I have set a goal to lose ____ lbs by Christmas and this would set me back. I understand if you don't get it, but know that I'm enjoying your company regardless of what I'm eating." In other words, someone may think that you're suffering by not eating what they're eating. They've seen you enjoy that meal every Thanksgiving (or 21st birthday, or Christmas, or some other celebration) and suddenly you are giving the "Poor me, I can't eat this stuff anymore" story. That's what I call being a diet martyr. Change your attitude if you want to change your body. The second thing is half-hearted commitment. If you're true to your clean-eating plan 80% of the time, but 20% of the time, you eat or drink your heart out, there's a VERY good chance that you are your own personal sabotaging problem. Transforming your body requires transforming your thinking about food and exercise. That means, "Just one more piece of pizza" or "Just a few drinks" may not be an option for you if meeting your goals isn't happening for you.

Now, what if your loved ones (face it, almost everyone has a sabotager lurking around the corner) won't give in the way my client's husband did? Well, you're going to have to suck it up the hard way. You'll have to determine that you are worth the effort to buckle down and do this for you. Every time you see the bag of crackers or cookies, every time your friends invite you out for a margarita, every time a piece of your kids' birthday cake is tempting you you will need to overcome it with sheer willpower! If you face the temptation with the, "Oh, I can't eat that--poor me" attitude, the likelihood is that you'll eventually fail. That's the attitude of a martyr. If you face it with the attitude of "I could eat that, but it would do nothing to help me reach my fitness goals. So, I won't", you will certainly succeed! You're worth it!

Now all that being said, I do have clients and loved ones who seriously need to watch their eating. I strongly recommend to those people to not feel badly about bringing a small stash of your own healthy eats to your family's Thanksgiving feast. For example, I'll be bringing my sweet potatoes--already measured for my needs. Although I'll have enough to offer to others who may want some as well, I don't expect everyone to have my same goals. I know that my husband is watching his eating, so I'll likely offer to make a little extra sweet potato for him as well (only if that's what he wants). This goes for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, Easter, birthdays, weddings, and more. Make your goals count, enjoy your family and friends regardless of whether or not they're celebrating with food. You matter, your goals matter, your health matters!

If you feel that you cannot do this on your own, I've got you covered! You may benefit from a knowledgable professional who is willing to keep your accountable through this journey. You can do this!!

Even When I Just Don't Feel Like It

Boy was today a hot one! Even now, at 9:20PM, it's 97° outside. Tomorrow won't be any better; as a matter of fact, it's going to be worse (according to the forecast anyway). After some personal training, taking kids to doctor appointments, doing some grocery shopping, and other mommy duties, I was spent. It seems that every time I got into my car, those black leather seats sucked a little more energy out of me. The suffocating heat was just almost more than I could take.
Before all of this, I just knew what my workout plan was. I needed to get my cardio in as well as a good shoulder/chest workout. The strength training was the easy part; that's the stuff I enjoy. I must admit, had I known how hot it was going to be in the gym, I may have talked myself right out of it. By the time the workout was over, my youngest child (who'd been going with me to my in-home personal training appointments and on my errands) had been in the childcare room for about an hour. I knew I needed to get my sweet Sophie home so that she could enjoy herself. There was still the cardio that needed to be done... Perhaps I'd get a nap in first. And so I took a nap. When I woke up, I found myself finding every excuse to not head out again. I was tired, I had cleaning to do, I wanted to relax with my kids, it's hot outside, there's that reading assignment for my literature class... You name the excuse and chances are I'd come up with it. For nearly an hour, I was telling myself all of the reasons that I could get away with not going to the gym. At the same time, in the back of my mind, those extra post-competition binge pounds were saying, "Come on! You don't really want me hanging around with you all summer, do you?" And so I went. I quit procrastinating just in time to make it to the last spin class of the day. It wasn't until about fifteen minutes into the class that I was glad I'd made it. Frankly, I just didn't feel like going before that. After those first few minutes of spinning, my heart was pumping and I found myself singing along to the songs that were blaring out in that hot, little room. Some great HIIT focused moments made the class totally worthwhile. I felt strong, clear-minded, and energized.
It's crazy how that works, isn't it? Almost every week, at some point in time, at least one of my clients will either forget, oversleep, or psyche themselves out of their workout with me. It's more normal for my clients to answer with a resounding "No" when I ask if they'd gone to the gym or done some physical activity between our appointments. They're tired, overwhelmed, hot, discouraged, depressed, or just not in the mood for it. Goodness, I used to be the same way. Frankly, it's the reason most people I know aren't reaching their fitness goals. They want the prize at the end of the finish line, but they just don't feel like running the race. Believe me, I know how that feels because I've been there-done that way too many times to count.
What I'm going to say, I've said many times before. I believe that when people do this it's because they do not believe that they are worth the time, effort, and sacrifice it takes to be as healthy and fit as they would like to be. Think about it for a minute or two. Would you hesitate for a minute if your neighbor or friend asked you to help watch their child for a day or to help them move? Do you feel guilty saying "no" to the boss who requests you work a little longer or come in a little earlier even though you'll be exhausted if you do so? Are you the first to volunteer to be "Team Dad or Mom" or to organize the weekly carpool? Do you indulge the chatty friend who just doesn't know when to end a conversation on the phone or as you walk by and find that before you know it, you've been chatting it up for an hour or more? Personally, I can relate. For years, I gave and sacrificed for all of those important things while neglecting my own health and needs. It caught up with me. I found myself tired, sick, and crabby. The very people I was sacrificing for were getting the worst of me. It was not until I realized that I'm worth the effort and time it takes to be more physically fit that I learned to make this a priority. What's your story?